I was asked to join an inner-city volleyball team a couple of weeks ago. I was totally pumped. I browsed through the old dusty cupboard and found my lucky kneepads. Not only were they crusty and yellow, but they still had the disgusting smell of the locker-room. But hey, they worked (barely).I showed up to the court, met my team, and began to hit a few swings. After my back tensed up and my lower calf cramped, I realized that this wasn't the good old days. I actually had to warm-up.
Whistle blew, and the game began. How hard can this be? I played college volleyball right? Well, not only did I have extreme exhaustion after the first 9 points of the game, but because of my lack of muscle my crustified-yellow kneepads wouldn't stay on my bony knees, AND my used-to-be-good verticle has now diminished to a pathetic low. Lovely.
This past week we played a good team. (If any of my old teammates are reading this, I felt like we were playing the old University of Arizona team...yikes.) They were intense, but not tasteful in their competiveness. I received the "stink-eye" from a couple of their players. After the game we had some choice words but went our seperate ways. I felt like Uncle Rico talking about his football career back in the 80's OR some skinny bald guy who thinks he rules the church ball court. (Ok, not really but you get what I'm trying to say)
But here is my conclusion, my summary, my awakening if you will.
...I have officially realized and truly understood the definition of the word "has-been" Lets see what Webster has to say about it.
Definition #1:
has-been [haz-bin]
–noun
Definition #2:
ˈhas-been noun
a person who is no longer famous and important
(I laughed so stinkin' hard when I found out that they actually had REAL definitions for this pathetic word)
To my dear teammates and to whomever has had a depressive experience like I have this past week: Welcome to the "Has-Been" Club. I was thinking our mission statement could be something like this:
Like my husband says, it's better to be a "has-been" than a "never-was". So carry on, has-beens, carry on.
| a person or thing that is no longer effective, successful, popular, etc. |
ˈhas-been noun
a person who is no longer famous and important
(I laughed so stinkin' hard when I found out that they actually had REAL definitions for this pathetic word)
To my dear teammates and to whomever has had a depressive experience like I have this past week: Welcome to the "Has-Been" Club. I was thinking our mission statement could be something like this:
"No matter what anyone thinks of us now....we are, is, was, were, and will always be totally awesome."
Like my husband says, it's better to be a "has-been" than a "never-was". So carry on, has-beens, carry on.
20 comments:
I laughed out loud as I read this, I had a similar experience with softball not too long ago, and I tried to blame it on the fact that I just had a baby... and maybe that's true but whatever the
reason(s) I'm with you and would be proud (I guess) to be a member of the has-beens club! Ha Ha. I also pulled out my snowboarding gear this last week, after its been retired for a season due to being prego... not sure I have it in me to board anywhere but the bunny slopes! If it's any consolation I think you're awesome!
ha! ha! I know the feeling you think you can pick up right where you left off! think again. we are getting so old. oh and we moved to good old Monroe.
unfortunately, I have been there too. so uncool.
sorry to welcome you to the club.
maybe you should just stick to volleyball with me, then you will always feel awesome!
I'd like to let everyone know that Melissa thinks she has been playing like a "haz-been" but she actually dominated the court. She's still got it. Not only that, but every team tries to recruit her off of her own to another. So I don't want to hear this crap :-)
HA! Isn't it the truth though. You are still famous and important to me. Remind me to get you a new pair of knee pads for your birthday. You deserve a new pair after so much time has passed. I feel like I still could play after two babies...and then when #3 came, I fully converted to only playing volleyball and still I will never get the "IT" factor back. Gotta love growing old.
i'm here, i'm doing that,was there, been there, done that, has been, hey, where am i anyways?
you crack me up! from the looks of you alone, i'd hate to go up against you. i love the v-ball game, i only played in high school though. hey, do intermural (sp?) or beach volleyball count?
i like what your husband has to say about it.
great post..."has been".... whatever.
He he, so funny I know how you feel! I broke my hand this weekend boxing! (I kid you not) Sometimes getting older SUCKS!
dude you are hilarioussssssssss! I think your main squeeze hit the nail on the head. Shoot i'm just a wanna be, there's no cool stories to tell about that!
Oh, miss, if you only knew how COOL you really are! Why do you think I follow you around like a puppy dog at the gym - you are my IDLE!!!!! Love you!
Ha ha! You're SO funny, but I already knew that!! Oh, and I love Phil's take on "has-beens"! I totally agree :)
Hilarious post- well written.
If you are interested me and my has-been friends play ever monday night just for fun. It is great volleyball but we all love eachother... we;d love to have you!
Totally funny...can I join the club!?
i found your blog through my sister-in-law's (brother's wife) "hot potatoe"? just thought i'd say, thank you for recognizing all of us "has beens"
i think we've all been one of those at some time in our life! i too laughed out loud...to much to relate to
oh my goodness...what a great story.
i'm sure you'd kick most of our butts anyday!
Ok so I totally totally LOVE this post. Don't you hate what growning old does to you? Not that we are old but we are already experiencing "has been" experiences. I am sorry that you had to experience it but I do totally aggree with Phillip. Being a "once was" is def worth something.
Carry on!!! Keep playing maybe you will get it back???
I wan't to Join. Isn't amazing how fast the human body shuts down after certain muscles haven't been used. I totally know how you feel. I sometimes get inspired to do "awesome workouts" I used to do back in my rowing day- then 10 minutes in I want to cry. What happened to all of us? I know...We got old. I remember meeting former Cougs and thinking WOW, they were once like me, tha is so cool. Now I am thinking WOW I am one old chica, I was once like them. HA-HA! But I must say that I agree with Phillip. I would rather be a has-been than a never was! So heres to you my fellow has-been. Once upon a time we were ripped and tough-and now we weak and a little flabby. HERE-Here! ;)
Ok I live that picture of you! I had to take a second look! Melissa, your are not a "has been", you will always be amazing!
As usual, you have hilarious and witty blogs. I loved this one! ha! But no Melissa... i know that you recognize that strapping young dark haired man in that pic... BUT nothing is going on. Trust me..SO over him :) ha!
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